Believing Your Beliefs

My Poppa Bear and I listen to sermons together even when we're apart, it calms us when we are missing one another and strengthens our bond. I have noticed how much more deeply we fall in love in these shared moments of Church, in spite of  the distance, because God's word anchors us, brings us back to what is most important and keeps Christ at the head of our household.
We have ministries we each prefer more than others and some that we share, Truth for Life with Alistair Beg is one we often enjoy as a couple along with Dr. Charles Stanley of In Touch Ministries and my personal favourite Pastor Dale O'Shields of Church of the Redeemer. No one has paid for this, as I have stated before, I like what I like and lean towards sharing what I have experience with.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
Alistair Beg was speaking on 1 Samuel 17:28 and posed the question, "Are you believing your beliefs and are you doubting your doubts?"  These words really stuck with me, especially when he placed it in the context of  the Israelite's versus the Philistines, the fear that was holding back the Israelite's who, having forgotten God's favour and unfailing strength He had shown to his people, kept running in fear. Enter David who, having such tremendous faith in God, with little more than a sling shot and the surety that God was greater than any Philistine-no matter the size, abilities, or prowess as a fighter, killed the giant with one blow using said sling-shot.
"The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine." 1 Samuel 17:37
"You come against me with the sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, whom you have defied. 
This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Isreal.
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands." 1 Samuel 17:45-47
We all know the story of David & Goliath, what resonated so deeply within me when I listened to this sermon was the truth of the question Alistair Beg asked. Why do I doubt my faith so easily but never think to doubt my doubts?
All too often we are not believing our belief's, we are swaying back and forth between faith and doubt, fear and longing, anger and love.
I don't know about you but for myself, these negative feelings creep in when I am most distracted by life, by people, by worries that crease my brow leaving nothing to show for the hours spent in concern. The saddest part is that I slowly stop. I read fewer passages, I say shorter prayers, I speak to God in passing, I listen to sermons less and less, I forget about daily devotionals, and then I start asking myself, "Why does God seem so far away, why can't I feel Jesus in my life?" When I should be asking, "If God seems so far away, who walked?"
The enemy delights in these moments, we begin to exist in fear based thinking, believing a voice that belittles, condemns, downgresses, and brutalizes. We don't even question what we are hearing, we give in to despair forgetting that God loves us so tenderly and his plans are not for harm but to prosper us.
This is where Jesus finds me, I came across this picture at a particularly low point and it perfectly sums up what happens and the simple words I/We all need to remember.


Just focus on Jesus, how could I have forgotten something so simple? So uncomplicated, so all encompassing in the love so freely offered.
When ever I am frazzled and all over the place except where I need to be, my beloved brings me back. He does it in the kindest and most trans-formative way. He asks, very patiently I might add because when I am in a state, reaching me is not easy. He asks, "What promise are you holding on to? Tell me, out loud Kiki, which one of God's promises are you holding on to?"
That moment, those words, that depth of caring is what breaks the cycle, it is so strong that I can remove the grip the enemy has tried to strangle me with, and suddenly the air is fresh, sweet, and full of calm. Does it solve everything? No, that comes when needed, on God's schedule-not mine.
What it does is bring back the comfort of God, it connects me to Christ, it soothes my soul, and renews my faith.
Below is my promise I hold on to, there are others but this one is my favourite. I pray that you find yours, that you listen to God's loving voice, focus on Christ, and remember that you are loved. Leave your comments or promise down below, I love to hear from you.