Today I want to talk about a subject that is very close to my heart and I feel is very apropos, for the self-love part of this 30 day challenge. We're discussing fear & anxiety and the impact, reality, ways to cope, & how and why we need to.
Overcoming anxiety and the fears that quickly rise like a wave of terror, threatening to drown you is important; for the very simple reason that you are in horrible pain. Much of which is hidden and causes you to suffer in silence.
It took a long time to seek out that help because I didn't understand what was happening to me, I was isolating, retreating, so I could protect myself, and avoid freaking out in public. It was terrifying to be exposed, alone, and unsure how bad an episode might be; so I kept to myself and started to venture outside less and less.
This became so bad that I began to experience debilitating panic and very real physical symptoms, the moment I even tried to put my hand on the doorknob.
Outside became impossible, inside felt safe, but I was not cocooning myself in security.
I was allowing myself to become trapped by a multitude of fears, real & imagined.
It was not until I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and informed of all the symptom, as well as treatment plans, that I finally stopped feeling crazy. BTW, it took a round of 6 tries before I finally found the right people and help. It was a seriously infuriating and maze like road.
Anxiety and depression still carry tremendous stigma in our society, and I believe it stems from three places.
1-We are still learning so much about the brain and what we know and understand now, is still pretty new in our human history. In early world wars, soldiers would be suffering from PTSD but this term had yet to be coined and the effects and symptoms were not understood. It was classified as neurasthenia, a type of fragility that was viewed by some as a weak and flimsy excuse to get out of war service.
This is the dictionaries definition:
Neurasthenia: an ill-defined medical condition characterized by lassitude, fatigue, headache, and irritability, associated chiefly with emotional disturbance.
This is now understood to be something completely different, valid, real, and is taken seriously; as it should be.
2-It makes us uncomfortable because we realize that we are all vulnerable to the realities of anxiety, depression, as well as the after effects of trauma, and we do not like it. Vulnerable=weak and that is perceived as bad, instead of as an opportunity for growth and reaching max potential for a better quality of life.
3-We are not socialized/taught about these issues in school or at home, and the ignorance is detrimental.We prefer to brush it off, make light of it, and not bother to learn more so we can be effectively helpful and supportive. Often the wrong things are said, which make the person saying them feel better because they can extricate themselves from what puts them at ill-ease, but it further damages the individual who really needs compassion, kindness, and support.
Asking for help is crucial and one of the most difficult steps; facing rejection, ridicule, and disdain are further damaging and can lead to people seeking other and more dangerous ways of coping.
Such as: self-medicating, addiction, abusing others, self-harm, and even suicide.
If people are telling you that your anxiety is all in your head, that you should do better and stop complaining, why aren't you stronger, why isn't your faith stronger, why don't you just get over it, it's not that bad, you're dumping your problems on others, or you are just downright melodramatic; look at the ways that anxiety impacts the body:
I am placing this post as part of the detox challenge because when we make changes to our diet, juice fast, get out junk, and commit to a healthier lifestyle, several things have been known to happen.
Some people become really emotional, have crying jags, fuzzy head, experience anxiety/depression, feel overwhelmed by their emotions, and find it difficult to cope. Old wounds and unhealed places in us surface and need our attention.
Do not ignore this and if you cannot go it alone, I am asking you to please seek help; and if you cannot find it right away, keep searching and fighting your way to it until you find it.
Do not give up, you matter!
That brings us to another point, the people in our lives.
Sometimes you are changing and people around you will not like it, they will try to minimize what you are going through, they may try to sabotage your attempts to incorporate positive change, you may have to move away from toxic people and situations because they no longer serve you and are causing more harm than good. Be warned, when you begin to demand change, because you are able to recognize what is harming you, people who benefit from your silence will not like it. You need to recognize that they like the status quo because they get something out of it, that does not mean they have your best interests at heart. I am not saying every person is horrible, I am saying trust what you know, and people's actions really do speak louder than their words.
I liked this:
When I first started reaching out for help I got some whopper comments, horrible responses, and some rather painful rejections from people I believed in.
I came to realize that I was on a journey they could not be a part of, that there are times in this life when humans lack the capacity to be whom/what you need, and that God is the best one to comfort and love me. It was not easy, sometimes it can still be difficult, even lonely, but it is worth it.
I eliminated those that were harming, detracting from, hurting, refusing my means of communication, and dismissive of my very real pain.
I eventually found people who cared, wanted better for me, were and are still patient and loving to this very day. I give God thanks, it has been a 20 year road. I am still on it but I stumble much less, have more good days than bad, and reach out to friend's and God when it all becomes too much.
I learned that I have to love and place myself as a priority, I have to honour my truth, and that there are ways to find some semblance of peace. It is not a quick fix but it is possible.
I want to mention that I used natural alternatives to modern medicine as I do not like taking drugs. I used skullcap in tincture form aka liquid form to ease my anxiety and I used Gaba, an amino acid to sleep better and help support my brain. These were recommended by a naturopath along with elimination of all toxic body and house care products, as well as no sugar, no caffeine or allergen triggers, and loads of rest, sunshine, walks, and kindness. To this day I use skullcap when I have an episode or too much stress is triggering anxiety attacks, I go with it and do not ignore or fight what my body is telling me.
I highly recommend you seek out naturopaths with experience in this domain and if you choose to take these natural products, do not mix them, do not over dose-follow the instructions, and be super gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who love and accept you, as well as respecting who you are, imperfections and all!
Check out the sites that follow, to get the help you may need.
Should you need more information, some validation of what you are experiencing with regards to PTSD, I found this site and it is a good beginning place.
"PTSD and PTSD symptoms are real and real science says you can't just get over it. Here are 3 important facts on how trauma affects the brain." www.HealthyPlace.com
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2013/10/23/ptsd-symptoms-what-people-need-to-know/
