Saying Good-bye to 2014

This year was a horrible struggle on so many fronts, I honestly would not have made it if God had not held me up, if my wonderful man had not been so kind, patient, & supportive, if I had not been blessed with wonderful friends who brought laughter through the tears and gentle encouragement when I wanted to give up and never stand again. All of the above picked me up, brushed me off, believed in me, and brought light into my life when all I remembered was darkness. I am blessed in so many ways, when I chose to walk with Jesus I think some part of me expected it would all get easier, what I didn't realize was that it has never been easy but my attitude towards it can change, be more positive, committed to the moments, and with God in my heart, life can finally be lived with so much more meaning and joy. It's time to say goodbye to 2014 & all that happened, what worked, what didn't, what failed, what succeeded. Now is when to recall what and who matters most. It's definitely a time of reflection for many of us but I want to say that it has been a big learning curve and I did actually glean some seriously interesting knowledge this year.
I learned to see people and situations as they are, not as I want them to be.
I learned that focusing on the negative only breeds more of it in your life.
I learned that my moods need to stop dictating my interactions with others, especially my loved one's.
I learned that succeeding in any given situation is not always going to happen, that MANY external factors play into this, and that failure is not always my fault. Sometimes giving your best, all that you have, doing it right, sharing your talents, helping others, guiding, and fixing other people's mistakes, it's just not enough.
I believe that God places us to have experiences that we need the most, no where in that statement did it say to achieve all that we perceived we should, or that we would always win & come out on top. As a matter of fact, most people know all too well what it is to give their all and to fall miserably hard, flat on their proverbial faces. This is harsh, so painful, and unforgiving in its stark reality that too many of us don't get up again. Or our hearts become so hardened that we change in ways that are not for the better, we push those around us away, we isolate, replay every failure in the stream of our lives, blame ourselves, others, and despair. I know comfort seems impossible to find in these moments, air is hard to breathe, and living hurts so much that you feel too raw and exposed to be able to stand experiencing any more that life has to offer. And yes, life does have so much to offer. We just stop seeing it, I believe that is the enemy's best game. Turning our anger, disappointments, guilt, shame, failures, all inwards and on ourselves. In these moment's we need to stop, just stop all of it. Thinking and trying to find solutions or ways you could have done something differently is not going to work or be of any use. You are in no frame of mind to make good feeling thoughts or decisions because you are living only two things. Anger & pain. And what is anger? Naught but the child of fear and pain is its physical, emotional, mental, & spiritual representation. Pain is a reminder, not to hurt you more but to remind you that you need to do less. To take time to do the most simple of things, loving yourself once more. This seems an insurmountable task when you live in the world of constant anguish but it's actually the most simple of treasures to gather to yourself. There is a reason why when people have break downs , need time off from work, feel depression bearing down, that doctor's prescribe REST. Rest, Rest, REST!
Did you hear that?
Rest comes in many forms but one of its most important ones is walking away from where you have chosen to lock your thoughts. That place of pain cannot be broken with more thinking. That is why you need to just stop, slow your roll, and rest. Walk outside, don't think, just breathe and walk with no destination. Forget the destination and all the crappy stops along the way, drink a nice cup of cocoa or tea, enjoy toast with your favourite jam or jelly, watch the movie you love, sleep, and sleep some more, listen to positive words, write notes around the house that say silly but right things like, "Hey you, the one reading this note. You are freaking awesome!" It sounds so silly, so infantile, too simple but that's all its ever supposed to have been.
Ever think we make it more complicated than it needs to be? Sometimes to get through the complex you need to wade through the muck back to the shores of simplicity, that's where clarity lives.
I always remember these words when I am at my lowest, feel least loved, and most alone.
"I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16
I know when a new year is about to arrive people feel and place a load of pressure and expectations on the year to come. Let me tell you something I decided a long time ago and it's helped so much.
I don't do new year's resolutions, I am a goal oriented person. Resolutions are distractions and are a great way to get side tracked, mired down, lost, and discouraged. There are far too many being written on some list somewhere with high hopes just waiting to come crashing down into reality. You cannot achieve in life if you set yourself up to fail with long lists of crap you hope to achieve, that's not how successful people get there. They do one thing at a time and they focus all their energy on that one thing and they do it well. Win or lose, they know they did it well because they did not get scattered doing a myriad of impossibilities when they knew to focus on the one goal that was bathed in a high rate of probabilities and the only reason for that, is it stood alone.
My goal for 2015 is to finish writing my book.
Unfortunately, for a long time I had huge lists of goals & was sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, & genuinely confused as to why I didn't succeed. Turns out someone very special to me had to sit me down & explain how goals work.
1) Pick A goal. It's a goal for you, not for others.
2)Figure out all you need to do to reach said goal.
3) Do all the things that need to be done to reach your goal.
4)DO NOT HAVE MULTIPLE GOALS, that's how you spread yourself too thin, waste energy, add stress, and set yourself up to fail.
5) If you get side tracked, sit down re-access, and recommit.
6) When you reach your goal, enjoy the moment.
7) Be grateful for the blessings.
8) Now you may choose to begin a new goal but remember, only 1 at a time.

What's your goal?

I want to wish you all a very healthy, happy, and love-filled New Year. Remember that you are loved and never forgotten.
God bless you...